With thanks to my friend, Felix, I got reminded that I used to love blogging and sharing my thoughts on...simply anything in the world.
Life has gotten me wrapped around its finger for the past 6 years and distracted me with vices such as shopping and drinking.
It has slipped my mind momentarily that joy can be as simple as this.
I hope to get this started again, though it would entail some work like changing my profile pic and banner to one that looks badly resized, but sadly, it is not disproportional. It is just me gaining weight..haha.
"Updates from the Grave" - why the title?
Perhaps it's the realisation that the many years of working my life into adulthood has murdered quite a few bits of me and buried them six feet under.
Reading some of my older posts has made me realise how different my thoughts were back then, and maybe even my feelings and emotions.
Life seemed simpler then. I am not sure if I was over sensitive then, or if I am too jaded now. Back then, every ounce of "other people's _________" mattered greatly to me and I felt as if I had to be responsible for everyone's feelings, emotions and thoughts, be it towards me or towards others. Any discord among relationships around me was MINE to settle, and any dark cloud over anyone's head was MINE to disperse. Now, my opinion is everyone has full control and ownership of our emotion, feelings and thoughts. Whether it is sitting on a rainbow or drowning in a turbulent sea is very much of our own choice.
Relationships appeared less complicated then. Gone are the days when I felt relationships are just joined by straight lines, and your fondness for someone is just purely based on your judgement and decision. Experience has taught me some relationships are beyond a line - they are radical and involve so many subsets and indirect connectors that your own judgement seems irrelevant, or just unimportant. But one thing does stay constant though - the closest and purest ones are still undisturbed, straight and strongly bolded, so long as they don't get faded with time, or erased by a intangible and frustratingly uncontrollable thing called politics. I cannot emphasize how much I dread Ms Bitchy Politics. Just in the recent few months, she has made me walk the plank off a friendship because the ex-friend failed to recognise Politics as the devil it is, and ended up sipping tea with her.
Time was in our hands then. I remember those days when hobbies were so easy to have and 24 hours seemed so....ample and satisfactory. Now, it takes A LOT of effort to keep to a hobby and possibly means the sacrifice of sleep to ensure the completion of a day's tasks. With so many things in the world undergoing inflation, is time one of the few essentials that's deflating at an exponential rate?
I certainly had more energy then. I am only into my 9th paragraph and already feeling my life seep away. Perhaps it's because of a drunk SOMEONE constantly waking me from my sleep last night, or a whole day of helping out at my school's examinations.
Anyway, finding excuses to battle the real reason of increasing frailty of aging seems like good grounds to pen off this post for now.
